Victim Mentality: Knowing and Acting

One of my learning's so far in 2016 has been around "victim mentality or victim mindset." Recently I caught myself in this mindset but having an understanding of what I was doing helped get me back on track. 

 This year I needed to enroll in a class in order to renew my certificate. With enrolling in a course comes the work that goes with it. I believe there are about 6 documents that I need submit, a portfolio and eventually a presentation to make. As the year as progressed, I have fallen behind. Doing their part, my advisors reached out to me last week to check in and offer support.

 As the week went on I became tired and as the emails rolled in I became defensive, I found myself saying (in my head) some of the following:

  • "Half the things they are having us do don't make any sense."
  • "If they wanted them by a certain time, they should put hard due dates on them."
  • "What kind of support have they given me?"
  • "Half the assignments do not even fit with my work, they should differentiate for me."
  • "I have been very busy with work and family commitments."
I know there were others and if I could remember them, I am betting they would all read the same. As you read through some of my thoughts, what do you notice? I am sure you noticed that I was putting a lot of blame on them. The fact that I was behind was clearly their fault. They were not doing enough and other family time commitments were the reason I was behind.

Then Friday on the way home I realized that I was pushing the blame in all directions and not accepting any accountability on my part. I realized that I could ask for assistance, I controlled my unscheduled time, I could set due dates to keep myself on track. Once I began to acknowledge my role in this and then begin to think about ways to complete the work and get back on track, my mindset, mood and outlook changed. The next day I reached out to my advisors, owned up to my part and got to work.

Are there areas in your life where the "victim mentality" has creeped in? What steps can you take to break out of it and reclaim a more positive mental outlook on things?

As always, take care and wishing you all the best!

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